The South Valley community talent show is a local tradition.  Every year, dozens of citizens perform for their friend and neighbors.  And while the event is usually frivolous and an excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday, this year was different.  And that’s all because of seventeen year-old Phillip Rollins.  Phillip was the third act that night.  As soon as he began his performance, it became clear to the audience that this was something special.  City Council Member Ariana Sloat recalls “[Phillip] got on stage then ran down the aisle to the aisle to the back of the theater and scaled the wall.  I thought he was doing that Parker [sic] thing from the youtube [sic].  When he reached the ceiling, he took out a screwdriver and removed the spotlight.”

There was no stage lighting at the theater, and the houselights hadn’t been working all day.  But keeping with “good old South Valley spirit” the show went on.  Stewart Bosco, 63, claims that the total darkness improved his impressions.  “I usually don’t do very well,” Bosco said and began tugging at his collar, “I can’t get no respect.  No respect, I tell ya.”  Not everyone agreed with Bosco, especially Gregory Smith, 31, who blames the total darkness for the underwhelming response to his performance of “The Little Wooden Boy.”