As the race for the Republican candidate for Presidency heats up and emotions run high, it would seem a new public arena for political battle has been sketched on the Republican landscape.
Mitt Romney, speaking to the Bluffington Herald on Wednesday told a reporter that he would like to "flick the testicles" of Newt Gingrich until they were "purple and swollen". Although he later said that his comments had been "taken out of context", Gingrich's powerful team launched a counter attack threatening that "if such testicle flicking were to take place", Romney could "expect a damn hard punch up the fanny. Hard enough to hurt".
Full on warfare broke out on the Twittersphere with each candidate threatening the other with an ever increasing scale of bloody childish mindless bloody violence.
@mittromney2012 > @ngingrich: I'm gonna shove an uninflated balloon up your nose and then blow it up until your face bursts.
@ngingrich > @mittromney2012: Tough words for a commie pinko fag . I'm going to tie your ear lobes together under your chin and swing you around in the air by it.
@mittromney2012 > @ngingrich: You won't be able to. Not with your arms nailed to a dying horse.
@ngingrich > @mittromney2012: Dying horse? wtf?
@mittromney2012 > @ngingrich: Fancy a fight with hammers in a paddling pool of grease?
@ngingrich > @mittromney2012: Yeah alright.
@mittromney2012 > @ngingrich:I'm gonna kick your ass and dance on your face. Naked.
Barack Obama has since taken to sitting in a swimming pool half full of goose fat with a broken lightbulb in anticipation of a similar scale attack from a fellow Democrat but to date, no-one has had the balls to take him on.
The naked greased hammer battle is scheduled for 21:00 Central Time on Fox News, it's late slot due to it's homo-erotic undertones and potential for graphic scenes of leaking heads, blood curdling screams for mercy and bad language.
You can follow this story on the Twittersphere by following the Fox News hash-tag: #bluntforcetraumatainment