LONDON, UK-- The Prime minister’s opinions concerning the proposed independence of Scotland and its break away from the United Kingdom have often been criticized by the public as ‘lackluster’ or ‘verging on total indifference’, but David Cameron surprised critics today by offering a ‘no holds barred’ conference on the issue.
“I honestly don’t mind that much.” He said. “You see, the United Kingdom is much like Voltron in that we are made up of different robot lions, and join together to form a bigger, better robot. Scotland is by no means the head of Voltron, it’s more like the left arm with the lion-head hand. I’ll admit its a cool arm and Voltron- or Britain- is certainly better off with it, but at the end of the day it’s the right arm that holds the power sword, not the left. Or Scotland, if you will.”
The Prime Minister then seemed to lose focus for a minute.
“I’m not sure how Wales fits into the equation. Did Voltron have an arse? Perhaps Wales is the arse of Voltron.”
When reporters helpfully pointed out that Voltron did indeed have an ass, but the ass itself wasn’t a detachable component, Mr. Cameron became visibly annoyed.
“Okay, how about this. The United Kingdom is like Dragon Ball Z, with Scotland being Vegeta and England being Goku. Vegeta used to be more powerful that Goku, but then Goku trained hard and became the most powerful Z warrior. Though Vegeta resented this a lot, they formed a bond of mutual respect and teamed up to fight space monsters. Again, I’m not sure how Wales fits into this. Krillin, maybe? Or that little guy with the hat...”
When asked if he would be outlying all future stances with comparisons to Japanese cartoons, the Prime Minister nodded enthusiastically. “Oh, yes. Definitely. Ah! I’ve got one- have you seen Naruto?”
Meanwhile, in Holyrood, Scotland, first minister Alex Salmond outlined his plans for independence using a combination of Lego and MegaBloks.