GREENSBURG, OH - Local student and socially-awkward teen, Randy Thompson, shattered all expectations today when his "status update" on popular social media website, Facebook.com, garnered a commanding seven “likes” within just two hours of being posted - three likes coming from people that Thompson himself usually doesn't even interact with online.
"I am just amazed, to say the least..." commented Thompson, a boy long thought to be as hopeless online as he is in real life, "if you would have told me just a few days ago that I would break my record of three facebook likes, I wouldn't have believed it. Yet here we are."
Thompson's groundbreaking status, "Since when was X a number?", went viral amongst his friends on the site after his sixth grade class began an introductory session to Pre-Algebra earlier in the week.
“He just said what everyone was thinking,” commented Micheal Smith, a user sharing 71 mutual friends with Thompson. “Math is hard, and I think somewhere we were looking for someone to stick it to the man. Randy was that person.”
Smith admits to being a first time “liker” of Thompson’s statuses, frequently avoiding the boy’s updates that often encompass either song lyrics from the band Owl City or his own suicidal thoughts, but the act of satire caught many by surprise - including not one, but two of Thompson’s female friends.
“I was already feeling good around like number 4, but when Katie liked it... let’s just say I realize what Dane Cook must feel like,” commented Thompson, reflecting on his emotions.
It is unknown whether or not Randy’s facebook fame will keep up over the coming days. A somewhat controversial decision to add his grandmother as a friend may prove to interfere with his efforts to come up with new content.
“I am doing what I can,” Thomspon told our reporters, “I have got a great line about how the cafeteria should serve pizza everyday that I just know everybody will love, but I have also got to keep it clean for the family. Last thing I need is Grandma commenting all over my status. That will certainly send me back down to where I was.”
Thompson’s status currently rests happily as the 7th most liked posted by all of his friends this week. What the future will hold for the young satirist has yet to be seen, although there is rumor that the next update may coincide with a possible profile picture change.













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