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Sunday, 01 July 2012 23:24

Doctor Agrees to Decapitate Patient, Feed It For Up to One Year

Written by  Julien Blower

A renowned surgeon in Bangalore, India has decapitated a male patient in following through with his surgical wishes, our investigative team reports. The patient, 22 year-old Mr. Yoyobumti, apparently visited with Dr. Korupta approximately six months ago, complaining that he was “not meant to live with this hideous appendage,” and that he felt he was “born wrongly in this condition, I’m not supposed to have a head on my shoulders, or even be speaking to you through this offensive mouth.  On the inside I am a headless person.” Dr. Korupta agreed. He also said that if Yoyobumti was to undergo extensive treatment where he agreed to live openly and notoriously as a headless person unable to see, hear, smell, or talk, and then could convince him he had made the adjustment successfully, at that point only he would follow through with the surgery.

Apparently Yoyobumti took the advice very seriously. He readily agreed that he could prove his desire to have the surgery if his family reported his progress in charading as a headless person, and that in each of his visits with the surgeon he would be first poked twice, then stomp his foot once for yes to confirm the request for decapitation, or stomp twice for “Need More Time.”

The Doctor decided to keep Yoyobumti’s head in a jar of formaldehyde, according to Korupta, “in case he changed his mind, or in case I did.”

After the surgery, Doctor Korupta intended to feed the headless body by means of a turkey baster, but admitted he had not thought through the logistics of precisely how to do this once the head had been severed and the wound presumably healed.

According to a former friend of Yoyobumti, the earnest young man had paid not only for the surgery but also for one year’s provision of an unidentified liquefied protein substance. It was his intent to continue making earnings by traveling in sideshows as “the headless Yoyo man, always up and down” where he would randomly jump to his feet followed by squatting, only to leap up again, and repeat this for as long as endurance permitted. “Mabmab, which is what we used to call him, thought he was going to be quite famous. Now sadly he is quite dead.”

When asked about his credentials as a surgeon, Dr. Korupta responded by saying that although he is a fully trained plant surgeon, it was not too hard for him to make the leap to living human tissue. That will be a question for the authorities to decide as they weigh the difficult question of the patient’s rights to live without a head and the medical ethics of informing a person of the realistic likelihood of survival to a decapitation.

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+3 #1 Derek Cottle 2011-11-26 15:33
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