David Schaffer is a leading chronologist who studies Time Zones across the world, and he has claimed that each year, the Central Time Zone is slowly expanding east.
“At the current rate of expansion,” Schaffer says, “We’re looking at the entire Eastern time zone to be swallowed up by the Central time zone’s already enormous mass by 2050.”
When asked what’s causing this sudden expansion, Schaffer blames the rise of the DVR and streaming video services like Netflix and Hulu. “No one needs to double check the time when they’re not in the Eastern Time zone anymore,” Schaffer adds, “It wasn’t even ten years ago when the phrase ‘Nine, eight-Central’ had meaning. Now people are watching the Simpsons at four in the afternoon and Maury at one in the morning.”
This trend of “on demand” viewing has left the Central Time Zone unchecked, allowing it to expand eastward at an alarming rate. This problem has only worsened as even video games have begun to offer digital downloads as an alternative to purchasing a hard copy.
There are, of course, those in Washington who claims there’s no such thing as Central Time Zone Expansion, and that the science is “spotty” at best. Still, lobbyists push for a bill to raise awareness of the importance of watching television when it airs, and standing in line for hours waiting for a game to come out at midnight.
“It’s really quite alarming, the implications of Central Time expansion,” said Schaffer “If I get my copy of Call of Duty at the same time as the people of in the rest of the country, how else will I be able to gloat and call them ‘barbaric hicks’?”