Santa Claus has been charged with possession of amphetamines after being caught driving his sleigh whilst under the influence.
Police were alerted to a sleigh driving erratically during the early hours of yesterday morning. After a long search they finally located Mr. Claus driving along the motorway at over 200 miles per hour. It took seven cars and one helicopter to stop the drug-fueled fat man. One witness said that he was going so fast that Rudolph and the other reindeer's hooves were smoking.
It took officers over an hour to get Claus from his sleigh; he put up quite a fight and threw the contents of the sleigh at the police, including massive candy canes and a Mel Gibson figurine. When Santa was taken into the custody cells he was searched and found to be in possession of over $16000 worth of high grade cocaine. He was charged on the spot and remanded in custody until a court date later this month.
The news has sent shock waves through the world as children and parents worry that with no Santa Claus Christmas will be canceled. Politicians have put pressure on the elves to work harder and make sure everything is fine, but this afternoon head elf Gonzo released the following statement: "We will do our very best to make sure Christmas goes ahead, however, Santa has left us in a bad position. We have been telling the fat idiot for months to stop his drug binges, but he doesn't listen, he just puts us in shoe boxes and locks us away. There are some difficulties for us to make all the presents, anyone hoping for a bike will be disappointed as we can't reach the shelf with the wheels on. If anyone can help us out please come, we need as much assistance as possible."
We will have to pull together and make sure this sort of thing can't happen again. If any one bumps into the Easter Bunny please take the drink off him, he is an alcoholic and needs help.