Chris Rhodes, the mysterious "human bicycle" has punctured his face in a Parisian suburb after skidding on leaves and chinning himself on a kerb.

Chris, 31, who has been a human bicycle for eight years had spent the last two weeks in Paris tearing around the place like a "ruddy maniac".  Jean Baptiste witnessed the accident whilst drowning a cat in a nearby stream.  "He came out of nowhere with the little bell on the top of his head ringing, he skidded forty odd feet like he was completely out of control and then BANG!".

It is understood that immediately after impact Chris Rhodes' face started to make a noise "like a child breaking wind into cup".  Paramedics were on hand to stem the loss of air from his face with a rubber patch and some glue but it is understood that his face, despite being pumped up, was still a bit soft and flabby.

It is unsure exactly what caused the accident.  One witness told us that Chris had been navigating a tight hairpin bend in the road whilst at the same time trying to open a can of Fanta with his feet and reorganize the playlist on his ipod.  There was recent speculation that as well as rust starting to appear around his ankles, that recently, Chris, had recently had a brake infection, that had not yet fully cleared up.

Dr. Oskar Oestler, a life long friend of Chris said "They'll probably just have to replace his inner tube, straighten the spokes a bit and as soon as the bruising goes down and the pressure in his face returns to normal he will no doubt be off again gliding effortlessly face first through the dark Parisian night like a damn sexy young alloy built fool."