"We can't ignore the crisis in housing, it's literally the elephant in the room," explains the UK's Government Minister for Housing. "There are more and more people who not only can't afford to live in a house, but are being turfed out of the homes they live in by banks.
"What we propose to do is provide each and every homeless person in the country with a coffin to live in. It's not ideal, there won't be much room inside them; but it will be free, it will keep them dry and it will keep them much warmer than a few newspapers would."
Homeless charities met the news with reservation. Steve Greening of Roofs for Heads said of this, "I think a lot people who are homeless will be thrilled to actually own something beyond a soiled mattress and a pocket full of discarded cigarette ends, but a lot more needs to be done to tackle the housing crisis beyond this. Free lottery tickets or something would be nice."
"Of course the other beauty of it," explained the Minister for Housing "is that whilst the housing crisis is as bad as it is, we can simply store the coffins with the homeless people in them somewhere out of the way. Perhaps underground somewhere. Just until the housing crisis blows over, then we can dig them up again."