After almost a year of benevolently giving free humor to the internet, like a digital Santa Claus but with hipster jokes, The Leaky Wiki has finally sold out. Yes, that’s right. We’ve opened an online store to shill products bearing our once prestigious logo. Many of our powerful and influential readers have expressed their feelings.
Jimmy McMillan, founder of The Rent Is Too Damn High Party, said this upon hearing the news, “My sideburns and I are very disappointed. We held an esteemed opinion of The Leaky Wiki. I fear it was really our expectations that were too damn high.”
Harold Camping, who predicted the end days would last from May 21st through October 21st 2011, says that “the proximity of the founding of your store, the success of the Clippers and the end of the judgment proves that I was correct! God has saved all his followers that followed every rule in the bible. I am sure that they are both very happy.”
We Skyped with Former President George W. Bush (who since our last correspondence has apparently learned how to use the internet), who was much less happy than Camping. “It is a shame when such a noble industry has to lower itself like this. I fear that they [are] emboldening the terrists [sic].” Tony Blair, who had until then been lurking nervously in the shadows, replied, “Quite right. Whatever my pal George here says.” He was then told to fetch Mr. Bush’s slippers.
So it is with a heavy heart that this reporter stoops to shilling quality products bearing our distinguished logo.