OK, it’s time for all the slackers who thought that last semester was their swan song, their curtain call, so to speak, to just kick that idea to the curb here and now. 2012 is here to stay, whether you thought you had the cheap ticket out of life’s responsibilities or not. Took out some crazy loans you can’t repay because you thought Armageddon would save your neck, and your wallet? Think again. Hovered around the D- grade average because you thought surely nothing was riding on continued performance standards? Ha! I say again, ha! Slackers are the ones who cooked up the whole “everything is going to end so I can become dementedly reckless in my behavior now” shenanigans. That argument can apparently justify anything, from stealing cookies to the invasion of a Middle Eastern country. Bad idea, very bad. (I’m talking to YOU, Brobdingnagabiff, or whatever your name is.)
Next thing you’ll believe littering is a good idea because it doesn’t matter how much crap we have, the Second Coming will take earth, and all that nasty crap with it. Or you’ll wonder why pay for gas, by the time your court date comes up for theft there won’t be any more legal system? Wrong again, suckers! Think someone else wants to clean up your poo poo, or eat the cost of your jalopy’s gas guzzling while you’re raptured away to Neverland? What must you be thinking! (Hint: You’re NOT thinking.) And don’t think I didn’t notice when you were drinking, eating, or smoking with abandon whatever was the first thing that came up in your hands. WAKE UP! Pick up your trash, pay for your gasoline, and drink 100% healthy milk and study hard, because 2012 is staying here, all year long, in spite of your plans to toss everything out the window in one shot!