In a recent press release by the Vatican, American football star Tim Tebow has been named the ‘second coming of Christ.’
“Following a consultation with religious scholars and an in-depth examination of holy scripture we have found conclusive evidence that Mr. Timothy Richard Tebow is indeed the reincarnation of our Lord Jesus Christ,” said the press release. “All the signs point to Tebow being Jesus: praying during games he won, being white, while racking up 316 passing yards in a game.”
There has been much talk in the news and on social media sites that God is helping Mr. Tebow win games after he had 316 passing yards in a single game.
In the Holy Bible, John 3:16 reads: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
“We can all learn a lesson from Mr. Tebow that with faith anything is possible,” said Pope Benedict following a Sunday Mass prayer to alleviate the famine threatening tens of thousands in Somalia.
Pope Benedict is currently in Somalia for a tour of Africa extending to the next two weeks.
“The Catholic Church has always been a big supporter of the NFL. We have a lot more in common than most people think. We keep people indoors on Sundays; We go on longer than we have any right to; A lot of people only care once a year; We incite near-xenophobic levels of competitiveness towards our neighbors; and we always have at least one Hail Mary. In hindsight, we should have been looking to football for a savior for ages now. Just look what it did for the beer and guacamole industries.”