Ron Paul has impressed many Republican campaign followers with claims that his protectionist attitude to military deployment would save the economy billions of dollars. However, when pressed for an effective strategy for mass troop re-deployment, he has always been sketchy on specific details - until now.
Ron Paul held a press conference today where he outlined a bold new proposal.
“I realize that withdrawing all American troops from foreign outposts would prove an unprecedented security challenge to America and her allies, and that the resulting surplus of troops would mean many redundancies. However, in relation to the latter point, I believe I have a viable solution- we will re-deploy redundant soldiers as Batmans.”
At this point Ron Paul took a piece of paper out of his pocket and showed it to the assembled press. On it was a sketch of what seemed to be Batman throwing a grenade at the Hamburgler. It wasn't very good.
“Think about it!" he continued. "Soldiers are already trained to fight! All we have to do is supply them with Batman costumes and pay them a weekly salary to seek out and fight crime. Not only will this be a cheaper and more effective way of securing our great nation- it will also be frickin’ awesome.
“Imagine being cornered by a mugger, only to have a contingent of ex-army dudes dressed like Batman jump from the shadows and punch the absolute hell out of him. It would be super radical-batical!
“There is a Batman shaped hole in our economy; and I intend to fill it with disgruntled marines.”
When pressed on how his strategy would apply in relation to current anti-vigilanty laws, Paul was unflappable.
“I’ve checked with the experts. Apparently, arguing with one or even a dozen Batmans is a viable concept, but arguing with a thousand Batmans is a scientific impossibility.
“This is so going to happen when I’m president, guys. Seriously. Now, can I get a high-five?” Mr. Paul stood with his palm raised until a passerby obliged him with a high-five.
“Super badical sweet," he concluded.