Hidden Hills, California -

Regulations regarding animal attacks are being called into question after 8 year-old Rover was bitten by his neighbor’s 16 year-old teenager, Stuart.  Numerous eyewitnesses have stated that Rover was playing in his front yard when he was attacked by Stuart.  Stuart’s parents managed to quickly regain control of their boy, but by that time Rover had already sustained several serious bites to the leg.

Rover’s next door neighbor Marissa Finch, 72, alerted the police.  “It was horrible,” she said, “but we all knew it was a matter of time.  That Stuart was always causing problems.  Making loud noises all night, running into people’s backyards, stealing newspapers and what not [sic].”

Once at the scene, police called social services.  Social service workers coaxed the rabid teen out of his house by pretending to be a pizza delivery men.  Once out in the open, he was tranquilized and taken to be examined.  Social services reports that the attacker was negative for rabies or any other bite-transmitted disease.

According to city by-laws, Stuart must be euthanized within eighteen days.  This hasn’t sat well with many members of the community.  Barry Minkow, who lives across the street from Stuart, said, “It [is] unfair.  I’ve met Stuart before, and he’s just overly excitable.  It’s not uncommon.  I have two teenagers of my own, and I hate to think what might happen to them.”

Stuart may get a second chance because of a surprise benefactor.  Rover’s mother, a 12 year-old chocolate labrador retriever, has told The Leaky Wiki that both she and her son are willing to drop charges, on the condition that Stuart attend an obedience school.

Stuart is scheduled to be put to sleep a week from Wednesday.  The municipal court will hear arguments on the issue on Monday.