TLW has answered the long time question of where our beloved celebrities have gone. This was first discovered when our reporters followed Whitney Houston's transportation the night after her funeral. We thought it suspicious they were heading for the nearby private airport. Our skilled reporter, famous for stalking celebrities like Dr. Demento and Bermuda Schwartz, stayed quietly in the bushes until he spotted Whitney Houston alive an well walking to a unmarked jet. He immediately snuck on board.
It has been reported that after landing on this disclosed secret island, that many of the mysterious celebrities that have died recently were alive and well. Our reporter saw Micheal Jackson, Heath Ledger, and even Anna Nicole Smith.
Everyone was sitting around discussing their next ideas for release material in memory of their deaths. The reporter overheard Elvis discussing on the telephone with DeadMau5 about a Remix album of his work. He kept mentioning he wanted them "sounding like the dubsteps, I love that band."
Tupac and Biggie Smalls were seen in the corner drinking Tonic and Gin laughing about how this "Little Wayne" character thinks his feces don't smell. Johnny Cash was seen sitting next David Carradine about how Tarantino is getting soft. Gary Coleman was seen making out with Princess Diana. Sharon Tate was seen asking Brittany Murphy about how hot Marshall Mathers is in person.
Our reporter immediately decided he'd seen enough, He informed us he left the scene by hijacking Corey Haim's Yacht.
PHOTO CREDIT: privateislandsblog