The Leaky Wiki

BREAKING NEWS

New World Record Set As Nail-Gun Olympics Claims Over 300 Lives in Two Days

Kim and Kanye's Baby to be Named Kristmas

Craig from Accounting is a Jerk

David Cameron: "I hate it when people touch my nose"

Studies Say: There is a 100% Chance You Are Reading This Right Now

Pope hails Farting Turnip a "Miracle"

Three Legged Man Sues Bicycle After Fatal Accident

Bounty Hunter Clone Army Invades Northern California

PETA Demands Voting Rights for Monkeys

Mitt Romney Peels Skin Off to Reveal Beautiful Caterpillar

10:22:56 am EDT AM

Wednesday, 19 Jun 2013

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Taliban Declares Peace With Government Officials They Assassinated

Written by Jake Kaplan and Julien Blower

A Taliban spokesman has declared peace between the Taliban and the government officials that they assassinated in the past. This announcement comes amid reports that Taliban officials have opened an office in Qatar for the purpose…

Hipster Sues Local Ink Shop For No Longer Carrying Typewriter Ribbons

Written by Jake Kaplan and Julien Blower

BERKELEY, CA-- A local hipster is reportedly suing a printing shop for not selling ribbons used in traditional typewriters.

This reporter sat down with the plaintiff, Orson ‘Welles’ Johnson, at the downtown Starbucks where he works…

US to Arm Syrian Rebels With Encouragement

Written by Jake Kaplan and Julien Blower

In a press conference earlier today President Obama announced that, in response to rising issues in the Middle East, the US was prepared to aid the Syrian rebels in any way possible and would even go…

Man Braces for Awkward Yearly Visit to Dad's Prison

Written by Jake Kaplan and Julien Blower

Earlier today sources confirmed that Steven Matthews of Chicago, Illinois has finally accepted the fact that in just a couple of days he will have to go visit his father in prison again. Close friends of…

Obama Gives Secret Press Conference to Address Secret Surveillance Rumors

Written by redacted

It has been reported that President Obama allegedly held a secret press conference today aboard Air Force One; the trip was a departure from two days of tip-trading talks with Chinese President Xi Jinping regarding Chinese…

Watermelons Found to be Most at Risk of Abuse

Written by George Briscoe

Calls from the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Fruit (NSPCF) for the government to act upon the rise in physical and sexual abuse towards Watermelons has escalated today. As a type of fruit, Watermelons stand out as…