Libra: The eclipse of Mars by Venus suggests that you have a secret admirer! But do that special someone a favor, and act surprised when he sends you your first letter written in his own blood.
Scorpio: People often tell you that the truth will set you free. While this may be true in an existential sense, the truth will almost definitely get you 3-5 years in a medium security prison.
Sagittarius: You might have to make the best of a bad situation. It would be advisable to watch Weekend at Bernie’s, just in case.
Capricorn: Things seem to be spiraling out of control. Now would be a good time to pull back on the throttle and even things out before you drop below cruising altitude.
Aquarius: Things in your life will become clearer, and you may have some newfound regrets. Like waiting so long to see an optometrist.
Pisces: Sometimes you have to let people you don’t like take the lead. Just remember, the early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
As the row over the finding of horse DNA in labelled beef products rages The Leaky Wiki can reveal that bananas imported from China have been found to be up to 100% horse meat.
Random spot…
Leader of the far right political group the British National Party Nick Griffin has today released details of his highly anticipated first album. The album is titled "It Matters If You're Black Not White" and will go on sale in early…
France will be sending approximately 400 thousand troops to Mali in the fight against the Islamist militants who control the northern half of the African nation, French Defense Minister Jean-Yves Le Drian told the UN Security…
The leaders of Britain's main political parties, Ed Milliband (Labour), David Cameron (Conservative) and Nick Clegg (Liberal Democrat), are set to appear live during this years Children in Need broadcast (16th October) to raise money for the…
For any questions, comments, concerns or suggestions please email:
Jake Kaplan - jake (at) theleakywiki (dot) com