London, U.K. -- Rupert Murdoch has been busted. Just minutes ago during his evidence session before parliament, after all thought that Murdoch might survive the encounter unscathed, the unthinkable happened, and the CEO of News. Corp was finally revealed for the monstrous ghoul that he really was.
Moments after explaining his complete ignorance in the affairs of all media outlets owned by himself, Rupert was blown out of his seat by the explosive ray of a proton pack, fired by none other then lead Ghostbuster himself, Dr. Egon Spengler. Pinned to the floor by the high-energy positrons of the Neutrona Wand, Murdoch lashed out defiantly in a fit of rage that severed the legs of his nearby son James Murdoch, and wounded several others.
Not fazed by the insatiable lust for blood that had overtaken the seemingly possessed CEO, Dr. Spengler, quickly joined by fellow Ghostbusters Raymond Stantz and Peter Venkman, hurled one of his signature “ghost traps” into the snarling mug of the media mogul and proceeded to capture him with unrestrained haste. This proved to be futile however, as the News Corp. Chairman, partially melted and oozing puss from every orifice, erupted from his earthly body in a bloody storm, only to be revealed as a snarling, putrid, four-legged poltergeist beast from the great beyond, mottled with tusks and horns, and covered in steamy ectoplasmic excrement.
His cover blown, the hideous monstrosity formerly known as Murdoch dashed for the windows, proton rays blazing all around him, dismembering many in his path. Just as all hope seemed lost, an errant shot by Dr. Venkman crossed the stream of another proton ray, resulting in a “total journalistic-integrity reversing” explosion of protonic energy, vaporizing the owner of News Corp. into a thick partisan mist of toxic vitriol.
The scene grew quiet as the Murdoch bits rained onto the onlookers, when a voice was suddenly heard from the back of the room, “How did you know?!”
Dr. Stantz replied “It was a lucky break kid. One of our PKE Meters went haywire while Peter was watching Fox the other night...”
"It was 'America Live' with Megyn Kelly. Don't judge me. She's a certified fox," Venkman stated with a wink.
"...so we spent the rest of the night skimming over the various programs, and the results were grim to say the least. I hadn't seen so much negatively charged energy spewing from the television since MTV renewed 'Jersey Shore' for a second season. The damn meter almost blew up on us when "Fox and Friends" came on. We knew then that we had to take this shifty bastard down once and for all."