Libra: The eclipse of Mars by Venus suggests that you have a secret admirer! But do that special someone a favor, and act surprised when he sends you your first letter written in his own blood.
Scorpio: People often tell you that the truth will set you free. While this may be true in an existential sense, the truth will almost definitely get you 3-5 years in a medium security prison.
Sagittarius: You might have to make the best of a bad situation. It would be advisable to watch Weekend at Bernie’s, just in case.
Capricorn: Things seem to be spiraling out of control. Now would be a good time to pull back on the throttle and even things out before you drop below cruising altitude.
Aquarius: Things in your life will become clearer, and you may have some newfound regrets. Like waiting so long to see an optometrist.
Pisces: Sometimes you have to let people you don’t like take the lead. Just remember, the early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Seceding from your union is never easy, especially when you’ve been together for a century or so, but sometimes it’s the only option. There’s no point in laying blame, sometimes two governments just drift apart over…
The other day I was considering how big a postbox is. It is big in terms of how many letters you could fit inside it, I could not imagine a postbox being completely filled with letters…
In our attempt to bring you the best, most up to date news, The Leaky Wiki is proud to present another piece of investigative journalism.
Like most of my investigative assignments, this one…
As election day inevitably looms like an unfortunately virulent strain of herpes, we Americans should take a step back and ask ourselves which candidate will make this country the most like our founding fathers intended. And…
Four years ago, a little known senator for Illinois ran for president. He ran on one simple tenet that I believed in: Turn America into a socialist Muslim theocracy. Three and a half years in office,…
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