A giant meteorite which caused mass panic throughout the entire world population last week has turned out to be gay. Astronomers from Cambridge University England have today downgraded the meteorite to a grade 1 (low risk) and have asserted that the huge hurtling mass is of little danger to the planet.
Legart Spratchet, head of Cambridge University's department for Inanimate Gender Studies had this to say on the matter. "Like many people last week I started to prepare for the worst. A giant body of rock such as this would of certainly wiped out 99% of life on earth and left a tremendous hole in the Earth’s crust. Knowing know the sexual orientation of the meteorite I would like to reassure the public that there is little to worry about. Gay astrological entities such as this tend to be more passive aggressive."
We also spoke to Nathaniel Plaps, an aid to the renowned physicist Steven Hawkins who explained, "there will be no contact with the planets surface. Rather, the meteorite will most likely combust within the atmosphere into a magnificent show of colour and light. Imagine a rainbow with the addition of a 4th of July firework bonanza and that's about the long and short of it".
The announcement of the homosexual space rock has been welcomed by LGBT groups as a 'positive step forward for interstellar equal rights' and many gay rights groups will be lining the streets in two days time to catch a glimpse at the camp spectacle.
If you know anyone who has been affected by the issues raised in this article, and would like to talk to someone about identifying as gay and extra terrestrial, please contact your local LGBT society for help and advice.