Libra: The eclipse of Mars by Venus suggests that you have a secret admirer! But do that special someone a favor, and act surprised when he sends you your first letter written in his own blood.
Scorpio: People often tell you that the truth will set you free. While this may be true in an existential sense, the truth will almost definitely get you 3-5 years in a medium security prison.
Sagittarius: You might have to make the best of a bad situation. It would be advisable to watch Weekend at Bernie’s, just in case.
Capricorn: Things seem to be spiraling out of control. Now would be a good time to pull back on the throttle and even things out before you drop below cruising altitude.
Aquarius: Things in your life will become clearer, and you may have some newfound regrets. Like waiting so long to see an optometrist.
Pisces: Sometimes you have to let people you don’t like take the lead. Just remember, the early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Los Angeles, CA -- Pedestrians and motorists passing the Staples Center were rerouted this morning due to a demonstration by the Badminton Players’ Union. Members carried picket signs and chanted for three hours to mark the…
London, England -
On the tail of a gaffe during his visit to London, Romney may be facing yet another diplomatic problem in these Olympic games. Multiple sources have reported seeing Romney’s horse, the 15…