YELLOWSTONE, WY- The last known colony of the Amadeusamadeus-calligula sparrows were destroyed yesterday by Yellowstone Park Rangers, concerned about potential poachers praying on the rare bird. Amadeusamadeus-calligula, or 'tit sparrows,' are famed for their bright orange and silver plumage, and can fetch lucrative prices in black market aviaries keen to display or, more nefariously, craft the bird into various purses, hats and plush bird toys.
"Tit sparrows were a favorite amongst poachers, and when it was revealed that a colony had taken to nesting in the area, the decision was made to wipe them out, lest they fall into the hands of underworld bird collectors." Said Hugh Fukov, a spokesman for the Park. "The operation was carried out humanly, and with great care to the wildlife" he added, pointing out that the use of flamethrowers and helicopter-deployed napalm was the only way to ensure that illegal bird snaring does not occur in the future. "We must protect wildlife from poachers and hunters by any means necessary. If we don't, we're as bad as them."
However, various conservationist charities have criticised the parks actions, stating that many trees, plants and vulnerable rock and pebble formations were at risk of being damaged in the firestorm. Yellowstone has not responded to the claims, although a statement released said: "Yellowstone National Park took all measures available to it to ensure only the rarest, most beautiful and animals most at risk of being poached were annihilated in the culling."
This comes only days after the African Elephant Foundation took to machine gunning over 200 elephants that were at risk of being exploited for their valuable legs, which fetch thousands of pounds as novelty umbrella stands.