Hollywood, California - The entertainment world was thrown for a loop when, at a pre-production meeting for Robots in Space, it was discovered that Michael Bay is really just two children pretending to be a grown-up.  The two children have been identified as ten year old Billy “Head n’ Arms” Copper and nine year old Samuel “Legs” Butterfield.  According to Samuel’s sister, Debbie Butterfield, 7, Samuel and Billy began posing as the famous producer to “get enough money to rebuild their stupid [sic] clubhouse.”

Reactions from within the Hollywood establishment are split between those who believe that Copper and Butterfield’s films are good enough to stand on their own merits, and those who believe that the films are good for something written by children.  Leo Caracas, an executive at Twentieth Century Fox, says that “[t]he boys have talent.  That much is undeniable.  But we can’t reward lying.  What kind of lesson would that teach?  That you can get away with being unscrupulous if you make lots of money?  That’s not what show business stands for.”

Caracas isn’t the only one speaking out against what is already being dubbed “The Michael Bay Deception.”  The IRS has opened an investigation into the legality and ethics of giving millions of dollars to “a couple of fifth graders.”  A spokesmen for the IRS said in a letter to the press, “It is unconscionable that millions of dollars were paid not only to a fictitious person, but a fictitious person who was actually two children in adult clothes.”

Laura Copper, Billy’s mother, spoke to the press outside her home yesterday afternoon.  “First, I would like to apologize for any harm my son and his friend may have caused.  I realize that I, as his mother, need to take some of the responsibility for what has occurred.  But what about the directors and writers and actors and all the other people who my son worked with?  Shouldn’t they have done their due diligence on this ‘Michael Bay’ character? “

In hindsight, there was plenty of evidence to suggest that Michael Bay really had a mean age of nine and a half.  “For one thing,” said Roger Belafore, celebrity biographer, “he always wore oversized trench-coats and he never bent over.  There were also clues throughout his body of work.”  Belafore then played a clip of Shia LaBeouf  during a promotional interview for Transformers 2.  “I walked in on Bay talking to the screenwriters,” Shia said, “And I heard him saying, ‘They should go to the pyramids, and they fight all over the pyramids, but it turns out the pyramid is really a robot.’  Who else could have thought of that?”

Since the truth about Bay was discovered, investigators have found the clubhouse mentioned by Billy’s sister.  The clubhouse is a three-story, 60,000 square foot mansion in Malibu, just a ten minute bike ride from Billy and Samuel’s homes.  One of the butlers employed at the clubhouse, agreed to speak to The Leaky Wiki on the condition that he remain anonymous.  “I was often suspicious about the source of my income, but I was trained to not question my employer, who I believed to be the film director Michael Bay.  I began to suspect that all was not, in fact, as it seemed when I found Masters Billy and Samuel discussing whether or not Applebaum [Hollywood screenwriter] would be cool with making the ninja turtles be aliens.”

Copper and Butterfield’s careers in Hollywood seem to be over, at least for now.  When this reporter attempted to contact them, their mothers reported that both children are “grounded for the foreseeable future.”

Photo courtesy of Simon Davison on the Flickr.com creative commons