Movie star heartthrob Ryan Reynolds, star of films like The Green Lantern and The Proposal, is changing up his career track, according to a press release sent out by his agent. Don’t worry, Reynolds will still be in making films… as a Ryan Gosling double. “This is the best career move for my client at this point in time,” the press release said. Ryan Gosling, the academy award nominated actor who starred in acclaimed films like Drive and Half-Nelson, responded to the news, saying that he was “pleased to have Reynolds on his team.”
A source inside Reynolds’s entourage gave The Leaky Wiki an exclusive peak into Reynolds’s preparation for his new role. “For about a month, my man Ry R. [sic] will shadow Ry G. Follow him around day and night, see how he do. When that’s done, Ry R. will take to the streets pretending to be Ry G. Won’t nobody notice nothing.” In a later conversation with the source, we were told, “if all else fails, he could always do bachelorette parties… as Ry G.”
Los Angeles, California - At 3:36 p.m. yesterday afternoon, in the middle of a busy supermarket, Academy Award winning actor Morgan Freeman and Academy Award nominated actor Gene Wilder got into a delightful screaming match. It is unclear what the fight was about, but witnesses said that it “sounded amazing.” A cashier who heard the argument reported, “It was beautiful. I imagine this is what it sounds like when angels yell at each other.”
Freeman’s voice was described as “velvety” and “as cool as a glass of lemonade on a hot summer day,” while Wilder’s voice was reported as being, “musical” and “smoother than glass.” One onlooker told The Leaky Wiki that, “when Freeman called Wilder a ‘stupid motherfucker’ it was like listening to a sunset. And when Wilder called him a ‘lousy bum,’ that was like hearing the Beatles for the first time.”
The argument lasted for almost fifteen minutes, as a crowd gathered to watch the aging movie-stars soothingly shout at each other. The argument grew in intensity and complexity like a glorious vocal symphony, until Freeman’s tenor and Wilder’s alto reached a harmonic crescendo that brought a puppy back to life. Having brought a sense of child-like wonder back to all the men and women who witnessed the fight, Wilder and Freeman left the supermarket in a hurry.
Neither Gene Wilder nor Morgan Freeman have responded to any attempts to contact them, but this reporter will keep trying, because their voicemail recordings are amazing.
SUPERMARKET PHOTO: Lindsay Holmwood, Flickr Creative Commons
The stars include one whom we obviously are unable to name, however we can disclose his profession, he is a wolf, he declared in court last week:
'we are tired of our private lives being investigated into." It followed newspaper stories that the star had a fetish for dressing up as old ladies and luring little girls into his house, before committing the act of cannibalism. The wolf was found not guilty, and now wishes for the story to be not include his name, as it 'isn't fair to have my career jeopardized for something I didn't do, after all my career is progressing well, i was going to be going on I'm a celebrity get me out of here now, but since the rumors nobody will take me, its like the world has left me outside like some sort of dog!'
Many of his fellow make believe mates followed in his footsteps this week, including a group of bears in the middle of a breaking an entering charge, a man named peter who claims he is still a child (currently residing at broad-more prison) and a boy with tourrettes who is fed up of being teased about constantly shouting the word 'wolf.'
However the celeb who has attracted the most speculation, is, well i cannot reveal their identity, but what I can reveal is that they are from Northern England, live in a forest with a group of homosexual slaves whom they refer to as their 'merry men' and has been charged several times with theft and inappropriate use of archery equipment that belonged to the local leisure centre.
Former heroin of this industry, Repunzel, has publically suported her fellow characters, saying that 'all of us fairy tale stars have the right to privacy, just because we are well known doesn't mean we cant have fun, I certainly remember there was nothing I used to do more than let my hair down on a friday night.'
With increased pressure to lift the injunctions and allow the revelation of their identity, the leaky wiki is going to remain neutral, in hoping they all live happily ever after
By Ted Hill