DUBUQUE, IA -- Area roofing contractor Wayne Dirtle spoke to reporters on Monday in the back bedroom of his home, claiming that he believes himself to be the target of a Grey's Anatomy-related plot hatched by his girlfriend, Tanya Middleton.
"Tanya knows I hate that show, yet somehow I have seen every episode this season," Dirtle stated, his eyes pleading. "If I'm going to sit down to watch television, I want to see sports, guns, explosions, or breasts, not a bunch of doctors prancing around learning life lessons about love."
When asked why he doesn't just leave the room, Dirtle leaned forward.
"Because Tanya has me in a plot," he hissed. "Every week she picks something to be mad at me about, usually on Sunday night. She won't tell me what it is, and gives me the cold shoulder all week. By the time I find out what's got her riled up, it's Thursday night and I'm sitting down to watch Grey's Anatomy with her to make up for it."
But Middleton, interviewed separately in the kitchen, disagreed.
"That is ridiculous," she said. "What do I care if he wants to miss out on the single greatest show ever to grace the airwaves? Hey wait... what day is it?"
Reporters told Middleton that it was Monday afternoon.
"One sec," she said, holding up a finger. She then shouted in the direction of the back bedroom, "Wayne... WAYNE! How dare you?"
