Libra: The eclipse of Mars by Venus suggests that you have a secret admirer! But do that special someone a favor, and act surprised when he sends you your first letter written in his own blood.
Scorpio: People often tell you that the truth will set you free. While this may be true in an existential sense, the truth will almost definitely get you 3-5 years in a medium security prison.
Sagittarius: You might have to make the best of a bad situation. It would be advisable to watch Weekend at Bernie’s, just in case.
Capricorn: Things seem to be spiraling out of control. Now would be a good time to pull back on the throttle and even things out before you drop below cruising altitude.
Aquarius: Things in your life will become clearer, and you may have some newfound regrets. Like waiting so long to see an optometrist.
Pisces: Sometimes you have to let people you don’t like take the lead. Just remember, the early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
|07/05/2012 20:58:20||A child named Fellatio||25|
|04/22/2012 21:38:18||The Icelandic Ash Clouds: “Retribution From God”||2716|
|04/22/2012 21:34:28||Boffins Unlock the Secrets to BBC Success||2017|
|04/22/2012 21:34:18||Proposed Punishment for Internet Pirates Branded "Draconian"||2177|
|04/22/2012 21:33:23||Scrabble Tournament Ends in Farce||2054|
|04/22/2012 21:28:13||Studwalk: Coming Soon to a City Near You||2011|
|04/22/2012 21:27:07||Scottish Nationalists Kidnap Andy Murray||9162|
|04/22/2012 21:08:13||Nick Griffin re-elected as BNP leader by ‘crushing’ nine-vote margin||4965|
|04/22/2012 20:43:08||Hackers improve The Sun’s website||4241|
|04/22/2012 20:29:40||Sexism Scandal Overshadows Women's World Cup||8207|
|10/01/2011 14:56:51||Britain's favourite rape joke revealed||1080|
|08/03/2011 16:41:05||Twitter policy provokes feminist hysteria||2523|
|08/01/2011 13:27:49||Ageing rock stars double-team ‘Little Schoolgirl’||6116|
|07/18/2011 10:25:00||Outrage after author smears eBook sceptics as “pro-slavery”||8993|
|07/02/2011 18:30:29||White Repatriation Claims Derail Obama's Re-election Bid||4640|
|06/30/2011 06:22:52||Lady Gaga rejected by the Mighty Boosh||828|
|06/25/2011 09:20:19||Tracy Morgan's homophobic rant delights farmer||762|
|06/25/2011 09:20:04||How do you solve a problem like a racist prick?||760|