Libra: The eclipse of Mars by Venus suggests that you have a secret admirer! But do that special someone a favor, and act surprised when he sends you your first letter written in his own blood.
Scorpio: People often tell you that the truth will set you free. While this may be true in an existential sense, the truth will almost definitely get you 3-5 years in a medium security prison.
Sagittarius: You might have to make the best of a bad situation. It would be advisable to watch Weekend at Bernie’s, just in case.
Capricorn: Things seem to be spiraling out of control. Now would be a good time to pull back on the throttle and even things out before you drop below cruising altitude.
Aquarius: Things in your life will become clearer, and you may have some newfound regrets. Like waiting so long to see an optometrist.
Pisces: Sometimes you have to let people you don’t like take the lead. Just remember, the early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
| Date | Title | Hits |
|---|---|---|
| 07/02/2012 20:35:07 | Local Hero Attempts to "Raise Awareness" for Man Found Choking in the Library | 3733 |
| 07/02/2012 20:06:06 | Local Boy Gets a Record 7 "Likes" on Witty Status Update | 5268 |
| 07/01/2012 22:19:14 | Race for Middle School Historian Heats Up | 2634 |
For any questions, comments, concerns or suggestions please email:
Jake Kaplan - jake (at) theleakywiki (dot) com