Veteran porn actor Geoff Hugely announced his retirement today, after forty years behind the grind.
"It’s just getting ridiculous," he said through his thick, luxuriant mustache. "This rule 34 business is really putting pressure on the…
London's Metropolitan Police Service issued a statement today outlining new plans to tackle rising knife crime in the city. Detective Chief Inspector Habblegade Bumquist stated that in order for the city to see a fall in knife-related crime…
A recent study conducted by Harvard University in Massachusetts revealed that children who play really great online games such as da Vinci Diamonds are 98.55 percent more likely to have a higher IQ than those who…
Editorial: Mushrooms Are Suspicious
Written by Julien Blower
It has recently come to my attention that my fellow Americans are not aware of what is to be believed as extraterrestrial concern involving the origins of the mushroom vegetables. I myself am a devoted Christian,…
Lifetime television has announced a new reality dance program, to feature "Dance Moms" Abby Lee Miller, called "Dance or Be Devoured." Twelve full-figured dancers will compete for the ultimate prize, or face the ultimate sacrifice. The…
The Cairo franchise of the International House of Pancakes (IHOP) was burned to the ground last night by religious extremists. According to eyewitness accounts, anywhere from five to twenty armed men razed the restaurant mere…
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